Posts Tagged ‘home’


THE MAILMAN, THE GIFT, desolation lane,…and all the lonely people….
by johnedoe

….it could be poorly compared to someone living in a ”desolate” place (me, maybe you?,….maybe ”both”, individually),…..who sees people from a safe distance, going to and fro, but never traveling with any of them, never getting close to them, never knowing how,……and perhaps knowing that there isn’t anyone who could ever truly get close to you anyway,…..having to accept, based on your many past experiences,……that this is simply true. But, even if it wasn’t……..it just seemed easier, and safer this way……

Then, on a day not so different than any other, after many lonely years, from seemingly out of nowhere,…a postman comes to your door,…..this was odd in itself, as you usually go to the post office to get your mail…..yet here he was,…..this stranger? At your door?

You’re startled by an odd sound,…until you realize it is his knock upon your door….you move slowly…

Perhaps due to isolation, you hesitantly open the door the smallest bit and peek out at him through the narrow opening……….he smiles a slight but warm smile, as he looks shyly back at you. You hear him laugh lightly, as he does so….but in a kind and good natured way……….he is holding a large mailpouch,……..he tells you that he has a delivery for you.

You undo the chain on your door,…and invite him inside……..Somehow, he says things that make you feel like he ”really knows you”…..the postman has something about him that makes you ”feel” warm,…..at ease,…(who is this person!?),…almost as if drawn to him…..have we met?,….do we ”know” each other???

He has a ”surprise” package for you,…”he informs you of this with a humor, and goofiness”…but you are aware of what may be a purposefully hidden intelligence just below the surface,……for just being a mailman, has been revealed as a disguise,…you somehow know he is so much more…but what is it? who is this mailman?

As he waits, you open the package in front of him (down come the bricks), without even knowing it, you have reached inside (another brick falls),…..he is saying something, he is telling you that you are a beautiful person, that you are special,….that he understands,…..words that you’ve never heard from anyone before,……sincerely said,…you ”DO” know this person,……and he ”KNOWS” you,……..as you continue (another brick loosens),………..

Whatever he brought you, you ”need”,…..you ”want”,….you begin to ”feel” something that you can’t quite describe (another brick),……….

You’re not sure what’s happening, but you go with it, as he continues to tell you how beautiful you are,….in other words, how he, but much more importantly, he tells you how GOD sees you,……..

Tears begin to fill your eyes, but as this happens you feel a warmth pour over you,……holding you,…..soothing you,……caressing you,……………….comforting you,…………………….accepting you,……….LOVING? YOU!!!!,….

Something unlike anything you have ever felt,……………..almost like a feeling of being ”home”,……..although you are home,………a different kind of home,…………a ”safe place”,…………..

Who is this ”mailman?”,……who has brought you this, this, this whatever it is???,……..what more is there about him,……he appears to be ”just a mailman”,…..but,……..

You begin to speak with him,…..you are amazed by ”him”,…..this ”holder” of treasured mysteries,……he try’s to tell you that he just delivers packages,……that he’s just a mailman…….

You ask him to have coffee with you,…..he’s reluctant,……..he almost seemed to be nervous…….as up until this moment, he was totally calm?……………….he finally accepts your offer,……….even though, it’s with a veiled reluctance,…………you ask questions,….to which, one way or another he answers the same,….I’m just a mailman,…………….as you continue (another brick loosens),………..

Whatever he brought you, you ”need”,…..you ”want”,….you begin to ”feel” something that you can’t quite describe (another brick),……….

You’re not sure what’s happening, but you go with it, as he continues to tell you how beautiful you are,….in other words, how he, and so much more so, how GOD sees you,……..

…you begin to understand that he finds you interesting,….”I’m just a mailman”,……..when you ask to stay for lunch,…..even though you can tell that something preoccupies his thoughts,…..and, you feel as if he ”really” has to go, he accepts your offer for lunch,……less reluctantly than before,……

As if understanding your interest he asks if you think that he’s the one responsible for ”the gift”,……he tells you that he isn’t,……..someone who loves you very much had him bring you that,……as a matter of a fact,…..he didn’t even know what he was bringing, exactly,………….until you opened it,…….in front of him,……….

…….he said that he saw how beautiful that you looked while you opened it, while you”experienced” it’s ”magic?”,….and he loved being part of it,………..the afternoon came, and you continued to grow ”closer”,………

As dinnertime approached, you asked him to stay,…..you ”knew” that he wanted to,……but this time,…..he said that he had to go,…..you asked again (perhaps, lightly pleaded?),…….you thought he would, ”hoped” that he would,…to be entirely honest,……he finally, simply said no,…..you knew he didn’t want to,……..so, why did he say no?,……your heart sank with the reality of his answer,…….

He said that he had other things that he must do,…….responsibilities that he must take care of,….that in today’s world, death is a very real possible bi-product of failing at his job,………as this, a mailman, is all he ever has been of any importance,…….or could be,………..he could not forsake his duties,……..he asked you to please understand,……he told you that one person in particular gave his life for him to have his job,……..

He looked into your eyes, and you then realized,……..he loved you,…………and you felt ”alive”,……..he would stay, and happily ever after would be an actual place,………….

He opened the door, pulling you back to ”not happily ever after”,…….he had made his choice,…his choice had made him,………..

He spoke one last time,…………you could hear his voice choke, you could hear him try to catch his breath,……and, you saw the beginnings of tears in his eyes,………

When he finally composed himself, he said that many people paid a high price for him to be a mailman,……children had given up a father for him to have this job…..he continued, ”if I had known that I would have been so far away from them for so long,……I may have done things differently,…..but, I didn’t, and this is the way it is,…..He finished with, ”there were many people who supported him, who ”believed in him”,……..He wanted to make them proud,……

He said that there was a time when he had let many people down,(yet, she couldn’t imagine this, for he was such a ”beautiful person”) and that he didn’t ever want to do it again,….the pain of the memories alone was almost more than he could handle,…he hung his head,…you knew he spoke the truth,…you ”felt” him,…and it hurt,……

Appearing now, as if to be almost drained, even though only moments before, he seemed to be so ”full of life”,…no need to ask what happened,…you had to accept it for what it was,….for what it is,……………..

You hated it!!!!,……you wanted to scream!,…..”’you can’t say goodbye!!”,……it’s not fair!

He was weary,…..he raised his head is if he ”felt” your ”thoughts” and you knew he knew,……..

Shoulders still slumped, and head still slightly down,….but then you saw something that you could easily describe, (if this were another time and another place) as him being ”cute”,……

A small crooked smile appeared on his face as if to say,….”everything is gonna be okay”,………………..

Gently he said, ”the man that died for me to have my job,….for me to be who I am?,……He had left a note for me before He died, which I found only this morning,……it had directions on it, so I followed them,………those directions led me to a package,………and then they led me to you

” the mailman” then handed me a second, smaller note,…….I unfolded it and began to read,…..

It said,I love you completely, ”always have, always will”,…..I am so happy that you enjoyed my gift,…..use it whenever you need to or would like to, as it is ”yours forever”,………

But, remember this, as well,…

Many other people have been given the same gift, and sadly, only used it once,…………..like you, when they first opened it, they knew that is was exactly ”what it was and is” meant to be,……..as they felt the ”power” as well,……….and they too loved it….

But, they took it for granted, and in so doing, neglected it, and in so doing, misplaced it, and in so doing, have forgotten it, almost entirely….

And, in many many cases….they focus on the ”bringer” of the ”gift” instead of the ”gift” itself,………. And in so doing, have broken my heart,…………..

You see, every father wants the best for his children,…..but when they don’t use what you give them…..then how can they truly enjoy life,……as it was meant to be???,….

You children all have free will to make their own choices,……choose wisely,……..

With ”absolute and unconditional love”

your daddy,…….

My daddy???,…….how could this be, my father is still alive,……..this man ”died” for ”you” to have your job?!,… Who?,..”i don,……as she raises her head to ask ”the mailman” who is this man that says he is ”her daddy”, it seems that time has somehow slowed down,……something seems to be speaking to her???,….

Is that how she is feeling?,……..and even then, she knows what to expect when she is finally able to raise her eyes, for she knows that they’ll be easier to move than her head for it seems to be heavier than it was a few seconds ago,……………

She understands that this is a time, the time, for her to begin to think clearly,……..she tries to focus, as she continues to raise her eyes to let them ”rest” on ”the mailman”, the bringer of gifts, he is so special, no matter what he has told her,….she ”needs” his strength,……..his mind,……………his wit,…………………….his heart,…………………………….

An eternity seems to pass, …..linger is a more appropriate a term,…………from within, she feels, what her mind knows that she is about to see,….later, as time passes,…..she knows that she will be thankful,….

Though for now, she wants to cry,……..

Her eyes now meet the spot where he was standing only seconds before,……….

He’s gone,………………..

I’m just the mailman, he had honestly said, over and over,……..she just didn’t want to believe it,……..

Only one way led to her door, a tiny path,…………the entrance to which was “extremely” difficult to find,………..yet this “mailman” found it so easily?,this amazed her

The clearing in front of her house that ”her” path ran through allowed her to see clearly for at least half a mile,…the mailman was nowhere in sight,…she knew that he wouldn’t be.

The path then disappeared into tall grass and weeds,…. Then, just beyond there were the sharp stones walls, and the brier bushes that she had ”allowed” to grow there years before to keep out the ”undesirables”,….this stranger had made it to her door without a scratch?!,….impressive, if nothing else,…..but there was much more than ”nothing else”,……

A different kind of tears filled her eyes this time………she understood what she knew she must,………..she smiled a small smile and quietly said,……..

goodbye mailman, and thank you,…….whoever you are???………….

She stood crying for a while, for many reasons,……….so many things to think about,……..

then she turned slowly back to her house. As she did, she noticed that something was different than before,……….

It appeared to be ”bigger?”,…..and it was,……….more light seemed to glow from the windows in the rapidly approaching twilight,………….yet there was more,…….she couldn’t yet see it,……..couldn’t put her finger on it, but she knew,……….

A day of surprises for sure, her smile grew as her heart warmed,……her head now felt as if it was weightless, she felt lighter than before,………..the warmth grew, she prayed for more!,……….she walked to her doorway,…….

She tripped over something, almost falling, more from surprise than loss of balance…..but she didn’t fall,………..what she did do almost surprised her, she began to laugh,…….out loud,….no longer imprisoned by the brick walls that “she?”, had built around her life.

…she was free,…..totally free!

On the ground where she stood was a scattered pile of bricks,……….she was truly free now,…..she understood completely. She was free in deed.

Reading the note from her daddy as she walked,……she knew ”exactly” where she would ”keep his GIFT.