Archive for the ‘christian’ Category


HI MISS CORRENA,…HOW ARE YOU???,………on wordpress, it is sometimes difficult to answer a certain question that one has asked, in part, because the “reply” button does not always show up with eac comment made,…I saw your newest one about you being in church all day yesterday, and this is my attempt to answer/explain why I asked,…what I “thought” was a simple question,…..but, due to lack of simple answers to my question about what “Jesus teaches” us, I have almost decided my questions must be way too complicated,…..I have looked back over what I have asked quite a few times to see if my questions were just too confusing. I myself, do not think that they are,……but, as I have learned during my time on wordpress, I have found that instead of a direct answer, there seems to be much “googlig, copying, and pasting,…..this, more so than a heartfelt thought out answer, unfortunately……in our techno cyber-world, it is just too easy to copy and paste. I have learned that asking questions, for the most part, seems to be rather moot,…but if I was to ask a question, I would ask this. “do we really feel and believe that we learn anything deeply when we just copy and paste?????

God (Jesus) says that he is the rewarder of those (of us) who diligently seek him. correct???

would i think that god sees us as seeking him diligently when we simply google bits and pieces to copy and paste??? my answer is, no.

to me, this could be the equivalent of “cheating on a test” in school,…….do cheaters ever win???? no. i don’t think they do. they have learned nothing. thus, they have retained, nor understood anything,…………………..but,………we can appear to know what we are speaking of, especially when we “steal” our answers,……………

also,…i MUST CORRECT A TYPO!!!!!!!! a typo from last evening,……i wrote, there is a clear distinction between “hypocrite” and “hypocrasy”,………..what i “meant” to write was,…THERE IS A CLEAR DISTINCTION BETWEEN “HYPOCRITE” AND “CHRISTIAN”……………once we post a comment, we, as the commentor, can not edit it,…………very sorry,……………………………ok,…..movin along,…………..

correna, (and others) i am just going to take my time to do my best to convey why i asked what i did, which pertained specifically to joes post,…………when i have finished, i would like to think, as well as hope, that my intentions are very clear. my intentions are to be encouraging for all of us. encouraging and strengthening,……………in other words,…..to help create,…….like the lyrics from the old song,…”JUST A CLOSER WALK WITH THEE
“………………..a closer walk, for all of us,…………………….equally,….since,….as “jesus teaches”,…WE ARE ALL IN THE SAME BOAT,………….

i’m doing some tile work in my mom’s bathroom now,……but i’ll be back as quickly as i can,……………..in the meantime,………have you ever read about the two men who go to the temple to pray??????,……the story about the one man who “thought, or perhaps wanted to thinnk and believe how SPECIAL AND GODLY that he was????? and also,…the OTHER GUY,………WHO CRIED AND BEAT HIS CHEST AND ASKED GOD’S FORGIVENESS BECAUSE HE, IN HIS HEART, KNEW WHAT MANNER OF HUMAN HE WAS (IS) AND HOW MUCH HE “NEEDED” GOD’S FORGIVENESS (love and acceptance)????????????……….this is story is the single simplest explanation/example of a HEARTFELT BELIEVER,…AND,…A BRAZEN HYPOCRITE,…………..in the entire new testament,…..it don’t get more clear than this,………………give it a read if you never have,…..i myself absolutely love the picture which is painted in this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,……………more soon,…….

and,…as for the “who am i” question?????,………i’m just another human peckin at the keys,…………….what i am writing now, i wish that someone would have written it twenty years ago for “me” to read,…….i take every word that i write very seriously! when sharing god’s word, and trying to do so in an encouraging way,…is one of the most important things in my life,………………………….i realize that i am just “black and white” words on a screen,……..it is very difficult to be human here, as there is no true human interaction,……our words can appear so cold and insensitive,….this is not my intent,…..i do ot write or ask questions to harm anyone,…………………i (had) hoped to “inspire” individuals to think for themselves, and ponder, as well as meditate upon the scriptures,…..which is what jesus teaches,………………………hhhhmmmmmm………..

ok,…….back soon,………..

OH,…I SEE???

Posted: December 13, 2012 in christian, Uncategorized

OH,…I SEE???????

by johnedoe

I HAD JUST READ A LETTER THAT SOMEONE HAD WRITTEN ABOUT THEIR VIEW OF PERFECTIONISM,….IT WAS SO GREAT,…BECAUSE IT WAS SO HONEST,…IT WAS ABOUT THEIR “DESIRE” TO MEASURE UP, TO “SOMEONE” ELSE’S “STANDARDS” IN THEIR LIFE,…AND “FOR” THEIR LIFE,….STANDARDS WHICH THE ONE DOING THE “PLACING OF” COULD NOT EVEN MEASURE UP TO,….THUS “TRAPPING/CONFINING/AND CAGING THE INDIVIDUAL WHO WROTE THE LETTER, IN “HIS OWN” LIFE,……ANYWAY,…THE FOLLOWING IS A RESPONSE I WROTE ON THE SITE WHERE I READ THE LETTER,…..

i gotta ask,..”how great was that guy’s letter?!?? I loved it! You could see all of the honest thoughts and feelings that he poured into it!

It so reminded of the thing I sent you about “if a child lives with this or that, he learns this or that”…..do you remember??? perfectionism??? oh my! I don’t even want to know what perfectionism is defined as, for i have a funny feeling that it will be different from place to place, and opinion to opinion????

Kinda like the old story about the three blindfolded guys describing an elephant after touching different parts of the elephant……..We,…when following another’s “human” view of perfectionism, may as well follow our own view. Perhaps as the “blind lead the blind???” For those who have read The Bible, and/or believe in God,…The Bible (being God’s word and voice) never even speaks of human perfection…..yet it only speaks of a “perfection of the faith”, which comes through our faith,……..taking the view off of ourselves and our faults,…thus freeing us from trying to find the impossible, and elusive within ourselves, as it does not, and cannot exist within ourselves due to our freewill of our selfish choices and desires,……….

We are, in and of ourselves, walking contradictions,……thus is why I see The Bible as being a good thing,…when we allow ourselves to see what is written inside,…in the way which God intends for us to see it………

I believe that is why “freedom” and “truth” are spoken of so often in The Bible….The importance of seeing ourselves through the eyes of our “creator” in an accepting and forgiving way,….allows us to see all others differently as well,…thus we are “freed” from the “guilt” of our (sometimes, and perhaps usually) harsh judgments of others…….This allows us to “then” get along well with others,……..

The Bible speaks of the “sins of the parents being “visited” upon their children,…meaning, we as children can and will be cursed by the bad, or ungodly, attitudes (and actions) of out parents,……………

When we seek, find, and practice God’s ways and attitudes (towards others, as well as ourselves) we break the “generational curses” (which The Bible is where the term generation curses comes from) that our parents have “passed on” to us,……………

It’s so easy to think that we are pleasing our parents if we “do what they say, and or have told us to do,……that we are “loving” them,…and or are “showing them that we love them, by doing so,……In reality,…we can and will suffer due to and because of their ungodly “views” of what “perfectionism” is based upon….We, as individuals, especially as grown ups,….are accountable for our “own” views and choices in life,…….

Much as if someone in school had “someone else” do “their” homework, for them,…we learn nothing. we must decide for ourselves who we want to be, and what our opinions and attitudes will be based on,…..

When God, a loving God, is believed in,…and looked to,…as the provider and giver of the answers,…then we are “free” from ever having to follow,…or answer to, a fallible human being again,….even, and especially, ourselves,…………the pressure is taken from us,…when we choose to allow it to be,….

I have found that this pressure has been removed from me,…only,….through my faith in a “leader” who is much bigger than myself,….or anyone who I have ever known,………….

 


“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain. Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.” ~ Emily Dickinson

            ONLY RECENTLY HAVE I SEEN THIS QUOTE,…A NEW FRIEND HAS IT ON THEIR PAGE. IN SPEAKING WITH THIS PERSON, THEY HAD SAID THAT THIS WOULD BE (IS) THEIR DESIRE WHEN SHARING WHAT THEY WRITE…just to encourage someone, or anyone,…whether we know it or not???

           I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THAT IT IS ALSO MINE. It makes me think of the movie, “PAY IT FORWARD.”

           Perhaps, “KINDRED SPIRITS”…perhaps,…”GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE???” Although the “GREAT MINDS” view sounds just a bit on the vain, and intellectual side to me. And it sounds cold.

           In my experience,…by and because our experience, and experiences, when combined and shared with a loving spirit and caring heart, although wounded, when honestly sharing our weaknesses,…our humanness,…this can actually be what is needed to help to free someone from the prison of their insecurities. And that “someone” may just be ourselves.

          By our willful telling and showing someone that they are not alone in can what so easily be seen (and having been experienced) as a cruel and cold world. Words of hope. Of the possibility that maybe there is a light,…thee light,…at the end of the tunnel,…the darkness is not all that there is. Encouraging someone, or anyone, or no one, while reminding ourselves, telling ourselves, not to give up. Maybe what we write is our way of saying, “don’t remain, just barely alive,…to live, (exist?) in the cold and lonely darkness.” But teaching any and all to learn to see the tiniest stars in the darkness of the night sky? Thus ensuring that we do not live in a hollow void. A void where there is no depth, no substance? Many times when we bleed,…others will show concern.

         Total strangers, sometimes offer aid. As if angels sent by God himself,…whether it be coincidental, or precisely timed in a supernatural way…as in answer to a prayer that one was so sure earlier that would simply go answered,…by an unloving God that didn’t seem to know, or even care at all that we existed. Thus,…through His silence,…leaving us to feel even more unloved and worthless,…and meaningless than we before we prayed for help…whatever His help is??? Perhaps these individuals that pop up out of nowhere are simply others who know what it is like to bleed,…ANGELS??? RANDOM STRANGERS??? But perhaps,…they are both???

         I know well what it is to feel my life blood as it slips from me, and I know how it feels to grow weak while bleeding. As if an hourglass sits, filled with our blood, and we all know, and fear, what will be the result when the last drop reaches the bottom. Like the sands through the hourglass,…so are the days of our lives.

         Do unto others, as we would hope that they would do unto us? I have found that I give,…what I need the most. I desire love. I do the best that I know how to give love. But,…even then, when we find someone who is wounded much as we are,…or have been,…on who brings us concern, thus healing,…to keep from the possibility of hurting that individual more,…we share what we can,…from the very core of who we are,…and then, with a heavy heart,…no matter how badly we may desire otherwise,…we turn,…and walk away.          Even if we realize that our heart has to sink so much in doing so, that we could easily step on it, if not careful. Is there healing in this? I believe there is. You see,…for our hearts to sink so greatly from where they once were, protected inside the hard and cold walls where it was once safe and protected,…then that means that “something” has broken through our walls. That something is called love. We find this kind of love through honesty. We give honesty, honesty gives love. Now,…our hearts having been exposed to the “light”,…God is able to heal our wounded hearts. Using the love of others to show others that He is real, that Love is real. And, also, and so very importantly, showing the one who is lonely and hurting,…that THEY ARE REAL,…AND THEY ARE, NOR HAVE EVER BEEN, FORGOTTEN……THEY ARE VERY IMPORTANT,…THEY ARE LOVED,…THEE LIGHT DOES EXIST!!! no matter what the voices in the dark try to tell us……those voices are lies.

        The right choice, is not always the easy choice,….as it usually isn’t what we want. Or hope for. Especially when the one who touched your life,…is so much like you. Someone that you want to know more about. There can only be a sadness of never knowing,…what if???

There was another individual much earlier in history who also said something quite close to this, if not exactly the same thing…who I will discuss later on in this writing,…maybe it means that in simply loving and encouraging others, or at least trying to,…then this is (is this?) where we find love,…Love for ourselves??? And acceptance of ourselves? Giving us a continuous and renewed sense of purpose???

But, IS THERE a very fine line here? I believe, and have learned,…that there is………

Now what???………………………………..


WHAT IF JESUS WOULD HAVE SAID NO and walked away……

by johnedoe

THIS IS PART OF A LETTER TO A GOOD FRIEND FROM LAST YEAR,……..

Mondo headache goin on at the moment, bear with me, If I have to, I’ll write more later to try to “get where I’m tryin to take you”,….k? Anyways,…in about a million places in The Bible,…that’s what God is trying to show us,… How to live as a Forgiven, Loving, Obedient (because we desire to please Him) blessed CHILD OF GOD! Does that sound too simple and perhaps cliché? Well, perhaps, IF we forget,…or just DO NOT acknowledge that “OUR LIFE HAPPENS” in a very real and “FALLEN” world,…as we desire and try to do so!!!? God is WHO and WHAT IS TO BE MOST IMPORTANT,…more than anything! hang on one sec

More IMPORTANT than “ANYTHING” or “ANYONE?” Does He REALLY MEAN “ANYONE???” YUP, HE SURE DOES. WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT? WHAT ABOUT OUR KIDS? You see where I’m headin maybe? Jesus tells us that our love for our families, MUST BE AS HATE by comparison WITH AND TO,…OUR LOVE FOR HIM!? SEEMS PRETTY EXTREME, DOES’NT IT??? MAYBE EVEN A BIT TWISTED AND SICK TOO, HUH? So why would He even tell us something as weird as that?

He says that to make us think,…speaking for myself, my first thought was “What the hell!?”

Have you ever seen a movie called THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST?????” If you have not,…wow! It’s a heavy movie,…..talk about “make you think” Before the movie even begins, the author wrote and posted clearly, a disclaimer! A VERY GOOD AND CLEAR DISCLAIMER! I say this, because the movie got a “bad rap” in the “organized religion” circles,… The author said,…“This IS NOT an accurate scriptural portrayal of the life of Jesus,…but, rather, it is about ONE MAN’S STRUGGLE WITH GOOD AND EVIL. Simple as that,…

Now,…for those of you who may have seen the movie,…the telling of my story now is from my memory, and I have not seen it myself in many years,…so I may be off just a bit,…but the “gist” of the story is still here,…so, sorry…anyway…

So the movie begins with Jesus workin in the carpentry shop. Carpenters build things from wood, right? Not a trick question, by the way,… I spent many years working as a carpenter with my dad, and I loved it. Anyway,…in the first scene, JESUS DID “NOT” LOVE MAKING “THINGS?” OUT OF WOOD!” I love this angle I’m about to tell you! The Romans “hired Jesus” to make “things” for them to “use!” What was the “thing” Jesus was nailed to and hung on made from??? pretty cool, huh???,…mor n a few

So the movie starts with Jesus hating what He does to make money in the real world. So He punishes Himself by wearing a wide belt with spikes poking into his flesh while he works. AS, He works,…He “hears” voices,…God is talkin to him.

He is tormented by the voices because he has to TRY TO DISCERN WHAT THEY ARE TELLING HIM AND WHY???

So, one day, as he is working,….His “good buddy” Judas Iscariot stops by…Jesus tells Judas that God is talkin to him, and tellin him to go forth and speak the words He has been hearing, to ALL the people who care to listen,… Judas thinks Jesus has lost his mind,… But still,…Judas tells Him that he will be right by His side. And Judas also tells him that if He (Jesus) lets him, and the people down,….that he will kill him. and away they go…together…

Now when Jesus is fasting in the wilderness, satan pops up to “tempt” him,…Jesus tells him to piss off! At which point satan turns into a “little tornado of flame”,…and tells Jesus,…

“I’LL SEE YOU AGAIN!” then satan explodes and disappears…

So Jesus goes through his ministry,…saves “Mary Magdlene”,…whom He had known and loved for many years,…and then, as many of us know, Jesus is eventually beaten and crucified. But, as He is hanging on the cross dying for what HE BELIEVED SO STRONGLY, a little girl appears at the foot of the cross. She was an Angel of God. Jesus, in his exhaustion, could now only see and hear her as she spoke to him. In the movie,…the whole time He was tormented with the “thought”, what if, “HE “WAS NOT THE MESSIAH???”,…

So the Angel says, “It’s okay,…you can “come down” now”…

He tells her, “no, I have to finish this”,…

Then the Angel told him that He WAS NOT the one,…and that He didn’t have to die on the cross to do anything.

long story short,…Jesus came down from the cross. Saddened. He soon after married Mary Magdelene,… They had a bunch of kids,…so here He is, just livin a normal life. Then Mary died giving birth to their last child.

So then, Jesus just “went through the motions” of a normal life,…(which to me, a normal life,…would be a “luxury.”,…but, I don’t feel that I have to worry about that luxury ever existing for me again. I had my chances,…and failed every time…just like most people do,…with it’s joys and sorrows,…there you go.

And also, God had the little Angel girl stay to help Jesus and mary raise their family. The Angel, NEVER left His side,…as She loved him so much.

(“She was very sweet!” The actress was excellent!)

But, after Mary, His wife died,…and Jesus was much older,…turmoil broke out in the land that He, and His Family, lived in… He had moved away from Jerusalem to make it easier for him and Mary to live unrecognized as the “False Messiah” So,…Now Jesus is on his deathbed, and a visitor stops by his house,…it was Judas Iscariot,…….

Judas tells Jesus, that all of the messed up stuff that was happening around them was Jesus’ fault, for His not “following through” with what God had set aside for him to do. Jesus was dying, and very weak,…Judas wanted to kill him anyway,…Jesus told Judas that God had sent an Angel to Him, and had Her tell Him that He WAS NOT the MESSIAH,…and Jesus pointed to God’s Angel who was in the room with them.

Judas said, “So God sent you an Angel and told you to give up?????”

Judas continued by asking, “Is “THIS” God’s Angel here with us now???”

Jesus answered yes.

JUDAS SAID,…..”THIS ANGEL???”,…Jesus looked at His Sweet Angel of God,…

The little girl Angel,…His Friend,…then burst into a LITTLE TORNADO OF FLAME, and said,…

“I TOLD YOU THAT I WOULD SEE YOU AGAIN………

pretty heavy stuff right there, huh?

Jesus had given up! Jesus had let Himself be deceived! He had came down off of the cross to be like, and live a normal life,  just like everyone else.

But, ONLY to have the woman He loved for so long, die. And then Jesus did His “best” to be a dad, but, due to his “neglect” of what he REALLY BELIEVED THAT HE NEEDED TO DO and what He SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING,…HIS CHILDREN, and the REST OF THE WORLD, WOULD, and now was, to SUFFER BADLY, and DIE, because HE DID NOT “HEED HIS CALLING”,…

With no Perfect Sacrifice/Savior,…to DO, AND FULFILL GOD’S WILL,… satan had THE UPPER HAND OF DESTRUCTION AUTOMATICALLY!

Jesus saw the flaming tornado!,….THE TEMPEST,…..the tempter…satan.

AND,…when Jesus saw the flaming tornado,…HE KNEW “WHO’S” WORDS HE HAD LISTENED TO! Words spoken to deceive Him, and to CONVINCE HIM TO COME DOWN OFF THE CROSS! He was beyond terrified by what a fool that He had been.

Jesus then crawled from His death bed and out his door towards “Golgotha” (or Calvary),…begging God’s Forgiveness and begging God to take him back! To, NOT ONLY, take Him back,…but, EVEN, SO MUCH MORE importantly, TO LET HIM FINISH WHAT HE KNEW MUST BE FINISHED!!! He was desperate!!! As so many of us have lived our lives…

His “NORMAL” LIFE, NOW,…IN LIGHT OF THESE REVELATIONS,…NOT ONLY MEANT NOTHING,…but, HIS LIFE was PURE HELL and TORTURE,…AS He crawled,…while dying.

Which makes me think of “those who “don’t believe”,…ARE CONDEMNED ALREADY,…Do you know what I mean?

Yet He continued crawling, and begging, toward the cross,…toward His destiny,…toward God,…begging and desperate,…and broken,…begging,…praying,…asking God to hear his cries!,…and to forgive Him…

SUDDENLY,….THERE HE HANGS ON THE CROSS, “RIGHT” BACK WHERE HE WAS, WHEN THE “LITTLE ANGEL” HAD EARLIER APPEARED TO HIM,…Jesus then looked up,…His head fell forward, and then down,…AND THEN JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS.

…IT,…IS,…FINISHED!,…Father/Daddy,…into Your hands,…I commend My Spirit,…

To me, Jesus said,…Daddy,…I’M COMING HOME…

I BELIEVE GOD/JESUS HEARS EVERY PRAYER THAT WE PRAY,…AND KNOWS EVERY TEAR THAT WE HAVE CRIED,…FOR,…IT’S HIS LOVING KINDNESS TOWARDS HUMANS/SINNERS/THE WORLD,…THAT ALLOWS US “ALL”, TO BE SAVED/ACCEPTED BY HIM,…THROUGH ANY OF US HAVING PLACED,…or us who ARE NOW, and any one of us who MAY BE desiring to place, and placing,…SIMPLE FAITH IN JESUS,…thus accepting HIM AS OUR PERSONAL SAVIOR.

Anyone, ANYONE!, who truly, and simply, calls out to Jesus as their savoir, will be saved. WILL BE SAVED! NO EXCLUSIONS!

IN WHAT “JESUS DID” BY HIS DYING ON THE CROSS, AS HE WAS PREORDAINED,…FROM THE VERY FOUNDATIONS OF THE WORLD TO DO,… BY GOD SHEDDING HIS BLOOD,… AS THE PERFECT AND ACCEPTABLE SACRIFICE,… AS GOD’S MESSIAH,…THE PERFECT LAMB OF GOD,… TO PAY THE,…“IMPOSSIBLE”,…

FOR ANY OF US (Jew or Gentile alike) TO PAY OURSELVES, DEBT FOR OUR SINS,…as God says,…“what the blood of bulls and goats could not do”… “Jesus himself HAS DONE,…FOR EVERYONE OF US AS HUMANS! EVERY “SINGLE” ONE OF US! Forever!

i highly recommend to anyone to watch this movie,…..it is one of my top five movies of all time! willem defoe plays jesus,….it has also got an all star cast as well!,….anyway,…peace,….toksoon


DID ANYONE IN THE BIBLE EVER TELL SOMEONE THAT THEY LOVED THEM???……a little food for thought,…….it’s not what we “tell” someone,…it is what we “show” them,…..as well as “how” we show them,…………what are your thoughts???


OK,…THERE IT IS, MY BIG QUESTION OF THE DAY FOR MYSELF,………yup, why do I blog??? No, really,…why??? I want to know,…….Wow,…this could take a while,…..Have you ever seen those movies where someone goes to visit another person who is in jail? The visitor sits down in a chair on one side of a viewing glass, and the prisoner is sitting in a chair on the other side of the glass? Then, with phone in hand, they chat,…..?????,….hhhhhmmmmmmmmm And every now and then, in a touching moment (pun intended) they each place a hand on the glass between them,…their hands touching, but,…in reality, they are not touching at all,…Is this what blogging is? is this what blogging is,…to me???

Now, during my reflective time, in all honesty,…I think it is. I think that may be exactly why I blog. I also think it is why I stopped blogging a while back. We share the words that we write,…but,…I just don’t feel the human touch. I mean, how can I, we ain’t touching,…To me, this is what loneliness is…..Like the old song says,…”so close, so close, but yet so far”…(frankie vallie, google it)

there is a feeling that we are all real people, but at the same time,…we are cyber-realists (yeah, I made that up) What if we all agreed to meet somewhere? would any of us show up? i mean, even if we had the time and money, etc,…to do so??? would we? i can’t help but wonder what percentage of us would “not” show,…………..

In reality,…I am shy. Very shy. It’s true. Some of you may not believe it by reading the things that I babble on about, but I am,…(i would show up, by the way),…I can speak easily on a phone as well,….but,…yup, in person,…I get very, very, very quiet,…..hhhhmmmmmmm,………

I’m tired, going to sleep now,….I gotta go cut firewood in the early mornin,……..more later,……peace yall,…..


AS MY SOUL BLEEDS,……yet another cheery title to my babblings, or writings, or rants…..very christmasy, don’t you think? You’re welcome,…..As a child, writing was something much much different then than what it is to me now. It was something more innocent. Pure. Youthful wonder still existed. But as time went by, and all things and people changed in my life, I left my writing behind. actually, I ran from it. My writing, as well as my life. It, they, both brought pain. Other than occasional scribblings in my notebooks, I didn’t dare write anything remotely resembling a story. Just bits and pieces. There were many different reasons for this, I’m sure…although I have no idea what those reasons were. Perhaps it was because my life itself was too random. Too broken. I existed as a stranger, always in an even stranger land. Truth is, maybe the surrounding land itself was normal enough, and I, myself was the strange…looking back now, facts are, my life, and myself, were just too fucked up to make any sense of…even now, there are some pieces which I will never try to fit into the picture of my life. I will leave these memories as reflections on the bottom side of the dark waters upon which they took shape……unclear ripples in the pond,…

Writing, for what it’s worth, I have found,…still brings me pain. It is just another of the many love hate relationships that I have had in my life,…..as much as I want to write about happy and encouraging things, not so deep inside of me,…there is something else which must come forth,…..I call this release, the act of “bloodletting.” I try to convince myself that this is how the poisons come out. Am I lying? Am I finding much needed and otherwise elusive healing as I sit here pecking at the keys?

Or am I simply dying more with each word?,………………..time will tell,……..enough for now,………..