DOG FARTS and trained attack puppies,…

Posted: November 22, 2012 in Uncategorized

HELLEN KELLER,…DOG FARTS,…AND THE QUESTION MARK?…oh, and “trained attack puppies!”

         SO, …IT’S A BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY IN OKLAHOMA. (shortly after noon) I HAD WALKED FROM MY SHOP TO A CONVENIENCE STORE TO GET A CUP OF COFFEE AND SOME SMOKES. I PAID THE CLERK AND WENT OUTSIDE TO HAVE A CIGARETTE AND DRINK MY (first cup of) COFFEE.

         AS I SQUATTED AND LEANED AGAINST THE WALL OF THE BUILDING, NEAR THE FRONT DOOR, A REALLY NICE MERCEDES BENZ PULLED UP TO THE GAS PUMP.

         OUT STEPS THE DRIVER. HE WAS ABOUT 40 YEARS OLD. THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF “SUCCESS” EXPENSIVE CAR, EXPENSIVE SUIT, ROLEX WATCH, NICE? SHOES, (I found it a little odd that no one else was in the car with him, hhmmm…maybe success isn’t all it’s cracked up to be) THE WHOLE NINE YARDS.

         Anyone who happened to be watching him that day could easily that he thought that he was pretty special, as his carefully polished image clearly and loudly portrayed (this was all about to change),….

         Now, a little more about me. Anyone who knows me and has ever been out with me in public, KNOWS THAT I AM THE “HOW YOU DOIN TODAY!?” GUY. I ASK EVERYONE THAT I GET NEAR, HOW THEY’RE DOIN. IT’S JUST THE WAY I AM (A FRIEND EVEN SUGGESTED THAT I GET A JOB AT WAL-MART AS A “MEET-N-GREET” GUY…good stuff……..

         Anyway, on with my rambling. And, ANYONE who KNOWS ME WILL ALSO TELL YOU THAT I LOOK PRETTY ROUGH. I DON’T TRY TO DRESS UP. IT JUST DOESN’T WORK FOR ME (if you gold plait a turd, it’s still a turd, ya know?)

         SO, AS THIS GUY WALKS TOWARD THE STORE (and me) I WATCH HIM HIM MAKING SURE NOT TO LOOK AT ME.

         I think, or, more truthfully, I was given the distinct impression that he thought I might “dirty” his clothes if he walked too near me as he passed by.  This is something i have sadly grown used to over the years of my interesting life of travelling the roads of America. So, I calmly waited until he was only a couple of feet away, then I suddenly sprang to my feet and physically attacked him!,…..lighten up,…I’m just kiddin…. But, what I did do may have been worse….or perhaps not?

         I spoke up clearly and said, yup, you guessed it……

“HOW YOU DOIN TODAY?”

HE JOLTED AS IF I HAD APPEARED OUT OF MID-AIR.

         After an extremely awkward recovery, he found the confidence to respond with this.

        “I”M DOIN “VERY WELL!” TODAY! and he hastily, I might add, entered the store. I was kinda hopin for a “I’m” fine, how are “you” doing?….nope, not today…..I knew I shoulda washed my clothes on church sunday…..I noticed I was also feeling thirsty…

         WHAT A COINCIDENCE, I NEEDED A REFILL ON MY COFFEE,… SO I WENT BACK IN THE STORE.

         THERE WERE QUITE A FEW PEOPLE IN THE STORE THAT DAY, BUT HE AND I (somehow? heh heh heh) ENDED UP IN LINE TOGETHER TO WAIT OUR TURN TO PAY. I HAD MORE QUESTIONS FOR HIM.

          I ASKED HIM, “DID YOU GO TO CHURCH TODAY?”

         “WHY YES I DID!” his tone made think that he just healed Helen Keller. Good stuff. And, there were many people around so he wanted to make sure that every one heard what a good boy he was. (wrong move)…

I continued with another “silly?” little question.

         “WHAT WAS THE SERMON ABOUT?”

         A rather unpleasant LOOK came over him, sort of  like he just had a dog fart in his face…Now, when I say, “over him”,…that’s exactly what I mean. It wasn’t just his face,…but his whole body language changed as well………it looked like an epileptic fit,…..in verrryyyyy ssssslllllllllowwwwww motion.

          But, damn it anyway, he was bound and determined to keep his cool!…….I hate (no I don’t) to say it, “I” had thoughts of my own…………

          SO, he then followed up with, “I DIDN’T GO TO CHURCH IN (——–), I WENT TO CHURCH IN (——-)”,……

I SAID, “UH-HUH….?????….And DID THEY HAVE A SERMON THERE?”

          “WHY YES THEY DID! (he was determined to show every one Helen Keller’s picture),…..

           THE LAST THING I SAID WAS,….(any guesses???????)….”WHAT WAS THE SERMON “THERE” ABOUT?????

           I knew that I had to say nothing else,…..this time the look that came over him was as if someone had just told him that his family had just been eaten by a pack of rabid trained attack puppies…… (yup, Helen Keller is dead),……..

           IT’S THE LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT (to most people, anyway) THINGS THAT I believe God uses to SHOW US MIRACLES. That is, if we really want to see em…….

           Everyone standing in line that he was trying to impress, faded from his vision, including me. In a few seconds we had disappeared all-together.

           His once “overly” upright body slumped forward and down, his eyes falling to the floor.

           I could tell that he wasn’t looking at the floor, though. he was looking somewhere further,….distant,……mysterious,…….alien………..

           He spoke again, as if to himself. Here is what he said,………….. quietly, sadly, lonely………..empty……

           “You know, I don’t know what the sermon was about”,……

           I, believe it or not, remained quiet, I had sympathy for him, I did not ask questions to attack him, only to inspire him to think. I could see through his “facade” from miles away. I pitied him. and I wanted to help. in other words, “I loved the guy”,……….

            As the clerk was handing him his change, he quietly and humbly finished with,

“…and that’s pretty bad,… isn’t it?”,……..

           I still said nothing……he disappeared from the line of people and I believe that I watched GOD walk with (carry) this man to his car in his now “not-so-perfect world.

           JESUS said, THAT HE STANDS AT OUR DOORS AND KNOCKS,……….I hope and I believe that this fella may have let Him “in” on his drive to wherever that day,………or maybe not,………

            Many times,…..Jesus simply teaches us with questions,…..

            Sometimes we learn through our reading of the bible, with the leading of his spirit,…….invisibly, through our conscience, etc, etc. as well as so many other ways.

            He gave us freewill (choice making and reasoning abilities) to decide what we are going to do and how we are going to do it. I believe many people are afraid if they “truly believe” in God that they will “magically” become a bunch of “mindless drones”,……now, this is just my “personal opinion”, but, I think that we are a bunch of mindless drones when we don’t believe,……jus sayin,………

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